i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
