I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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