nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
