if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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