He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
