no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I AM VODKA MAN
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
