i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
