you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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