Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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