well you can't waste a boner
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
