It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry about my life...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
