So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
