worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
