i permit you to call me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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