I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
