i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
