thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just pee around me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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