so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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