he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Actions speak louder than pants.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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