I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
