She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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