I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
