I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
