Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
