And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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