I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
