so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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