She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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