God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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