I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
