I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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