So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
