respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
