I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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