You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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