if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
