my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my poor anus
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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