So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My vagina is very pro this idea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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