He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
