Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
