Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
