ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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