When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
