All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there was a trapeze. enough said
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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