I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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