Define "chronic" masturbator.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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