More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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