Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
