He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
