Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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