so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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