Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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