last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had to cum in my sink.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
