she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
