What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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