she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
